Spending Time

I have really come to enjoy doing my daily bit of time in the word. Our church has recently decided to use Our Daily Bread as it's main corporate devotional, and boy has it changed since I was a kid. Yes it is still a familiar little book like the one that resided in the bathroom at my house as a child, but now you can get it on line at Our Daily Bread and even on your phone, all you have to do is follow the link. Both versions link you directly to the Passages in the Bible. There is really no excuse to not read a bit of the Bible every day. AMAZING this technology!

Alright!

Scheduled! Tuesday 9am in our lovely State Capitol....so I have to get up EARLY! To go meet her, but it is worth it! With traffic and distance in the am it will take a while to get there.

Becky is a serious trooper. She deserves a medal for dealing with us.(read: me.)I apparently have become a basket case and a very high maintenance one at that.

Jamie said it last week that we're so used to things not working that when we really don't know how to respond when things are just going slowly, as opposed to not happening at all. It really isn't even going that slowly.

So, I'm really going to try to only work on the facts as I have them and REEEEEEEEEEALY try to relax.

I went shopping with my friend Cheryl last night and had a great time, AND I discovered that I now wear an 8 instead of a 10! And a Medium in tops instead of a large! Sweeeet!

So, all in all things are going well and I just need to chill out, and remember that the universe does not revolve around me. :D

Communication

Would you all pray for us today? We still haven't confirmed a meeting for tomorrow, and while I know there is a whole day left, and I should be having faith that sometimes God works in the 25th hour, my stomach doesn't like it that H didn't return her counselor's call yesterday.

Dear Lord,
Haven't we had enough stress in waiting? I know life is not easy, I know that. I don't even think it should be easy. But haven't we had enough sorrow? We've endured this long enough, please take this and make it right. In Jesus' name, make all the hearts involved line up. Let this be your will.
Amen.

meeting maybe?

Thursday is what Becky would like, hopefully it all works out! I'll keep you posted...

I have this week off, and I totally kicked the back bedroom's butt. Our office is an office again, and I only have to get it dusted and tidied and re-arranged a bit and there will be space for guests to sleep!

I WIN!!
(any one wanna come visit?) :D

A little on the hi maint. side today

So, yesterday and today I've been having minor denial issues...like this just doesn't feel real. Had to call the back up hand-holder in Bellingham cuz my #1 Becky is on a well deserved vacation this week. Will meeting H. make it feel more real? Or not? Will it EVER feel real? I'm not used to things "working" yet, the meeting part is where things always seem to fall apart for us, and I am being needy. I don't like it. I should be confident and have faith in my God that he knows what he's doing! I should be brave and laugh at the fears that creep into my head late at night. I'm a bold woman, I'm intimidating to many people, (I know hard to believe right!?) I'm not nervous, anxious or hi maintenance!! I'm chill, relaxed and fun! What on earth is this!! I'm not sorry I feel this way, I'm just confused, this is NOT my character, but then, my character has never been through this before...

Alright, thanks for listening! And big thanks to R in Bellingham for pinch hitting for me. I need to go sit in the hot tub at the gym, followed by the sanna, hopefully precceeded by an actual work out...sheesh!

The art of baby holding

There are several schools of thought, but the little guy I held tonight was so chill and relaxed that I was in love!! I held a little girl on Sunday and she was all clinched up in her swaddling and not quite as cuddly, but equally cute and baby like! Both were a month old and both were a week or two early, and I can say that they both were teeeny but the little guy was easier to hold because he was a sprawler and not a little teeny football.

Are all boys that cuddly?

And, I started writing a book today. We'll see where that goes. Writing and I are like best buds when we're together, but we part ways so often...

Placement Pending

So I looked on the Bethany site and saw this!

 

I really hope and pray for the other families on this list that have waited long enough as well.

I got a ticker! :D

Jer and I are trying to play our cards a little closer and not tell our families until the meeting...but I think Jer is going to tell his grandparents this week and I'll call my grandmas this week too. Why the change of heart? We got a congratulatory letter from the adoption agency! So...it seems were're official enough to send a match letter to, so why not get really excited!

And I put up the baby ticker! I remember seeing Rebekah's ticker when it said 85 days and thought how long it seemed...now that mine is ticking down, 81 days today! It seems like forever and not enough time all at once!

Wow.

The insensitive award of the year goes to...."Car dealership financing lady" who said, "So when you're adopting and it doesn't work out, like, they change their mind or something? It doesn't feel as bad as if you lost a "real" baby right?"

Dude. I must have been in THE BEST MOOD EVER. Because I didn't cry, I didn't even make her feel stupid. And I think I made my husband proud of me.

I replied, "It was excruciating both times, I can't imagine being hurt more by a physical miscarriage. Adoption is not for the faint of heart, or sissies, it is a truly humbling and at times painful experience, and we're not even done yet."

And then she went on to talk about her poor sister in law who wants a "perfect baby" and their entire family hopes they get an ugly baby because SIL is so pretentious.

I must be high on Little Guy, because seriously, I was the most understanding and forgiving human on the planet today. I am amazed that I didn't tear up the contract for our new "family sized Fo.rd Ex,plor-er" and go to the competing che.vy dealer. But I just plan on writing a note to the owner of the dealership letting him know what an imbecile he has working for him. I don't really want to get her fired, I just want to let him know that there are some customer service training opportunities ripe for the picking.

GREAT DAY though. We now have a vehicle that will work with the infant seat and have room for the dog and all of our stuff when we go visit the fam in Oregon. AND, we got to go hang out with our friends and their cuddle bug Jonathan :D He was crabby, but did that stop me from holding and loving? Nope!

Fasting

So as you know, I fasted yesterday and prayed for family and friends and of course for our own family. And we went to "Teen Feed" to serve a meal to the teenagers of the kirkland area.

Fasting was difficult for me this time around, I've done it a few times in the past without much trouble, but friday wasn't such a great day. And at 4:30 I had to eat something. And then last night, what I did eat...well let's just say it didn't agree with me. :D

But it did teach me a very important lesson. No matter what you fast, when or how long, it is acceptable. Your effort is not a failure when you have to eat. Because really, I don't think the teens would have felt very honored by me passing out into a tray of hot dogs.

The teens were very appreciative of the dinner, it was a light night due to some celebrity activity at a local high school football game in the area, something about Will Smith and a Helicopter. Any way the kids that were there all seemed to be in one form or another "cool", but by my estimation, people underestimate teenagers and their need for family. Why else would they let a 31 year old with no idea who they are, mother them for five seconds and then smile? (not that they would admit to it!

I think all told, my adventure was a success. Even if 4:30 isn't exactly midnight. :D

I got some boy stuff at Ro.ss last night and then we went to a couple other baby stores and found some very cute baby boy things. We're trying to reign it in a little until we meet with H, but it was sort of impossible to walk past B.G. and Gymb. without stopping.

Wouldn't you know that the only day I choose to fast would be the day I WANT breakfast? :D must be psycological!

I keep having mini bursts of thankfulness, my prayers since wednesday have been "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" So, today's prayers should be a good reminder of how to really pray. Not that Thank you isn't fully acceptable to the Lord, but I DO have other things to say, and other people to pray for.

Thanks to everyone for hanging in with me! Melba I hope you get to relax a little this weekend!

Becky called again :D

It's a BOY!! :D

The Song

Every morning I sing in the shower, if not out loud in my head.

It goes like this:

There's a peace that floods my soul, when the spirit of the Lord is in control. There's a joy no bounds can hold, when the spirit blows a fresh wind through my soul. Holy Spirit flow through me, touch my heart and there will, there will be such joy, such unspeakable joy, such peace, an everlasting peace, such love, a pure and holy love.
Spirit have your way in me. (most of the time I don't make it through without crying.)

And then there's the Doxology:
Praise God through whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him all people here below!
Praise Him above ye heavenly host!
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
Amen!

Why this is sung like a funeral processional is beyond me! I can't stop singing it in my head, and it sounds a lot more like a version of "Jump" by Van Halen!

A little more info

Sorry about the lack of details! I still don't know what the sex of the baby is!
H is due December 10, and we'll be meeting with her in the next week or so.

Suffice to say we are beyond thrilled at this point!

A very sweet friend sent me this verse from "The Message" this morning, and it resonated in my heart.

Zephaniah 3:18ish
18"The accumulated sorrows of your exile
will dissipate.
I, your God, will get rid of them for you.
You've carried those burdens long enough.

When I got "THE CALL" (can't believe I'm writing that!)at a little after 1, I was on my lunch break. Becky only calls when it's important, but I played a little dumb because I wanted to hear her say it!

"She chose you guys, she isn't looking at anyone else." We talked for a few minutes about the past and things that happened and how we were dealing with it, and I told her my theory of "leaving my mark on the hard stuff" we talked a little about the meeting dates and then realized we didn't know what the baby's sex is! So she sent an email and I think we'll know tomorrow or so. It doesn't matter and if H doesn't want to know, we'll wait and be surprised too. We said goodbye type things and then in a drunk with joy excitement I told Becky I loved her before I hung up. (Am I a goof ball or what? Luckily Becky is a sweetie and knew I was just really excited)

So, That's what I know and Jer is home! :D

I only have three words.

SHE CHOSE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye Bodie

I know everyone loved "Johnny Castle" But I preferred the rage against the machine surfer. I hope he's in a good place.


And we're being viewed tomorrow, pray for H.

Camping!

Lake Chelan was beautiful, the weather was great, the water was COLD and we had a good time relaxing and cooking in the out doors!

Unfortunately I forgot to charge my battery in my camera so I only got a few photos, but it looks a lot like it did last year. There are a couple new photos from this year here

We made campfire doughnuts which are pills,bury dough toasted over the fire, dipped in melted butter and then tossed in cinnamon and sugar. DELICIOUS!

I can' get over how many stars you can see when you're out of the Urban reflection area. From my home you can only see the brightest of the stars like the constellations Orion and the Big Dipper.

Out there, you can see everything. the band of the Milky Way is clearly visible and you feel like you're part of something much bigger. I wonder if part of the denial that God exists comes from the fact that we can't see The beauty of space from our light polluted urban environments. I could look up forever.

My Dad's Sister Pat and her Husband Mike are coming today to visit us, I think it's really awesome that they want to come and see us. I'm excited! So, I've got to get going to clean up a little and put our camping gear away!

Camping!

We'll be over in eastern Washington for a couple days, so I won't be on line :D Unless my ipod finds some free wi-fi somewhere! Have fun while I'm gone and don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Anyone feel like fasting with me?

This is a note I'm sending to the families at my church inviting them to do a "Fall Fast For Families". Any one else want to join in? :D



Dear Families,
I know that most, if not all of you know that Jeremiah and I are about 14 months into waiting for a child to be placed with us for adoption. Over the last 14 months it has become quite clear to me that God wants me to pray and spend time with Him. I have been making continued progress toward that goal. In my prayer life of praying for our family I have begun praying for our church families as well, and those of countless people I’ve met through the miracle of Adoption.
When the Missionary Paul, from Kenya was visiting our church I had the opportunity to have him over for dinner along with Clifford from Outlook as well. What began as tying up a loose end for Pastor turned into a very sweet evening of ministering to my heart and Jer’s as well.
Paul asked us why we’d been married so long and didn’t have any children; I believe his question was, “What are you waiting for?”  We then explained to him our position and what we were doing about it, and he said, “Oh you’re doing the right thing, do you have a Bible (handy)”. (I love having missionaries in my house, because they never leave a place without opening God’s word) He showed us a passage in Matthew where Jesus casts a demon out of a person and into a pig and says “Some things only come out by prayer and fasting.” Which in my mind means that some things need serious prayer and focus.
I was listening to Paul speak and a voice in my heart suggested I do what he said. So, what am I getting at? On September 18, (A Friday) I am going to be fasting from breakfast until Midnight. And I wanted to invite you to join me. At 5pm on Friday Steve and the youth are going to be serving Dinner to the Teens in Kirkland, and I am going to go help them. My question to you is this: Does anyone want to encourage me by joining me in this? I know that fasting is a little on the edge of most of our comfort areas, but…I feel lead by the Holy Spirit to do this on this particular day. To pray for my future family and for your families, that God will bless Jer and Me with a beautiful family of our own and for the prosperity and wisdom and guidance of your families.
This is not going to be a weekly or monthly event, in fact, it may never happen again. I felt the pull of the Spirit on my heart and I am going to follow through with it. If you’d rather not participate actively in the day’s events, would you please remember this date and pray for us? I would consider it a great blessing to have your prayers with us on that day. And I’d be even more grateful to those who jump in and do this with me.
Your friend and Sister in Christ,
Kelley Cathcart

how many different ways am I gong to have to say this?

God must have a different Baby in mind for us. M chose a family in Oregon to meet with. While I'm dissappointed...i know we're on the right road. Though I'm starting to think God needs us to wait for our number to come up.

Still Waiting...

No idea what's going on, except I'm going to get my hair done :D and Chief is getting his hair done too :D

Profile is being viewed today

I'm hopeful, but I won't know anything until Tuesday (Stupid Labor Day) so I'm trying not to be all freaked out for two more days :D.

This post is really for our friendRBBecause my heart is breaking for her and I pray when I feel like there's nothing else I can do.

Dear Lord Jesus,

You are our great healer, great comforter and great warrior. I pray that you will be all of these things for RB and her husband. Their broken and tired hearts ache with this loss. I pray you will bring them to a place where they can go on waiting. The long road to get to this point has been so difficult. Please Lord, help their family minister to them, help RB to accept the true heartfelt meaning behind the offerings of sympathy. Help the feelings of shame to leave her heart. Our families want to go through this with us, and I pray you can help influence their words and actions.

Oh Lord, wrap her in your comforting arms and renew her courage.

Be with all of us who wait to be tapped on the shoulder to mother a child who needs us. Help us fulfill our duty to our utmost abilities, carry us when we feel like we just can't take one more step. Help our prospective birthmothers choose from their heart.

Jesus your name is the definition of Love and in 1 Corinthians it is said that love is patient and kind, but it also says:

7(M) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,(N) endures all things.

And because you are Love, with you we can truly bear, believe, hope and endure all that comes our way. Please hold on to us when we don't have the strength left to hold on to you. We've not fallen away, we've just fallen down.

Be the lifter of our heads, our hearts and our bodies. Give us courage and strength.

And help M. choose with her heart today Lord, guide her to the family you have already chosen.
Amen

Jer's 33rd birthday cake :D

How'd I do? Cakewreck or cakecool?

It's Jer's Birthday!

And I'm making him a birthday cake that is going to make Duff from "Ace of Cakes" Proud of me. I know he and his crew could do it better, but I'm giving it my best shot. Four layers alternating vanilla bean and devil's food with chocolate buttercream filling.

What will it look like you ask? Well, don't be repulsed...it isn't what it sounds like. "Corn hole" is a game you play! And I'm making a replica of one of the "Boards" for his cake. It's our favorite lawn game, and yes, there will photos to follow!

A little fun!

Last weekend I was a busy woman!

Friday we went to dinner and the mall with our friends "The Molitors"
On Saturday I went with my friend Christy to get a pedicure, and then we went to her house for a girls night. I took a million pics of her cute kitten!

Sunday we had church and Softball practice...Chief and I lounged...
Monday Jer and I went to Hectors for all you can eat crab...turns out when you eat slowly you can't eat much crab...but it was good! And then we got the news of being shown this Sunday! So, there was a lot of good stuff this week too!
And the Orthodontist I used to work for dropped off a bag of sweet corn on Tuesday!
I only have a half day at work tomorrow, and I'm making Jer's birthday cake!

This may be our toughest weekend ever.

Jer's dad isn't well. I know. Could this get any more complicated? I'm sure it could, but let's not tempt "the fates".

Pray that Bob's heart will be softened. Life gets a little too real sometimes doesn't it? I'll know more tomorrow.

I have a few fun food pictures to post, but I'll do it separately.

Garbage can please!

So, the third person last month chose a different family. But we're being viewed on Sunday and will find out about that prob. on Tuesday. I'm officially sick to my stomach seriously want to puke...Sunday is forever away!!!!! But it gives us time to PRAY!!!!!!

Dear Lord all I can say is PLEASE!? But I know you will do the right thing for the mother and her child. Thank you for your encouragement and love.
Amen