Are these butterflies or bald eagles in my stomach??

Seriously, my heart is going to have serious issues no matter who K. chooses on Thursday/the end of the week.

I am ready to be blessed, my heart is ready to be excited, and hear good news.

There is a peace in my soul that I can't describe, I know that I will be sad should she not choose us, my heart will again take a hit, one more bruise to add to the collection, of 12 months of waiting. But I don't have this "We deserve this" chip on my shoulder anymore. I don't know where it went, but somewhere along my pilgimage, I've lost my entitlement and gained gratitude.

Thank you Lord for this feeling of excitement, this holding of breath, this possibility of blessings to come. Thank you most of all for the prayer that has been prayed over us; what a gift to have people care.

I pray for K. for her decision, let it be one of those moments of clarity, that she will feel she's done her job to find the "perfect people" to watch over and guide her child. But let it be obvious to her who they are, so that she'll never doubt herself.

It would be so amazing if it could be us, my heart sings in my chest of the possiblities. And I know that Jer is so excited too, he can hardly contain his worry, his hopes and his fears. He doesn't have to, he can tell me anything, but I think he's nervous to talk about what we affectionately term "A No Hitter, or a Perfect Game". I know we're both on the edge of our seat waiting for that 3-2 pitch. We feel like we're in the bottom of the ninth inning Lord. We know our season of waiting might not be over, but this feels like a Big Game.

Please Lord, let us start a new season.

In the name of your Son Jesus Christ, we pray,

AMEN!