Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Here's the thing

For every opinion or thesis there is a antithesis or conflicting opinion.

I am sorry that for every wonderful adoption story there are equal or greater numbers of totally messed up lives. I really feel for you, I do.

I am not interested in entering into a debate about it. I blog to talk with like minded people and I have found them here. I am not going to ask you to agree with me. I am not going to try to win you over. This is a chronicle of my life. Some of it might hurt you to read, so be careful with your heart. I am going to be an adoptive mother at some point and I will do my very best to help my child understand what happened. I will never abuse them, I will never speak badly of their first family. You may choose to ask questions, I am not going to answer them all. I may not publish them all. To be honest, I am tired. This has been a long road for me and I don't wish to spend the last few weeks or months or even another year justifying it to people who don't like how I choose to live my life, and who I choose to include in it. There are two who I have responded to and you are welcome to continue to read and to comment, I do appreciate your politeness.

I'm just not going to be able to explain and debate in the way I think you'd like. That is not why I blog. Self-serving as it is, I blog as a way of journaling. I've "met" some wonderfully supportive people and that is how I am choosing to spend my blogging time.

Thanks for your understanding.



Tom/Lorraine said...

Great post! We have you two in our prayers on your journey and would ask for similar prayers. Adoption to us, like it is for you two, is a calling from God and we ar simply answering His call. He needs no explanation and knows our hearts better than anyone else can ever hope to know it. Keep the positive, life-affirming outlook up and we are sure He will continue to bless you and your new family.

Melba said...

Oh Kel,I love you, Girl! More power to you...


Denver Jen said...

I'm glad you are staying strong and keeping perspective. Baby will be here before you know it! I hope all your preparations are going well. I know it's a stressful time!

Jamie said...

kel ~ i have no idea what's going on in your world but it sounds like you're being harrassed a bit by anti-adoption advocates?? i'm sorry about that.
i would absolutely LOVE to continue to here how your journey is progressing in whatever capacity i can. :)

Kel said...

I'm not being harrassed, I'm just setting boundries. Don't worry J. I'm not closing up shop! :D I couldn't do that with 21 days left!!!

I'm not planning to go private either. I'm just not going to enter into a debate about my life.

I am fully justified by my Lord Jesus Christ, and I feel no need to justify my choices that have been made prayerfully and thoughtfully to people who may or may not want or like what I have chosen! :D

Nor do I want to clarify every word I post on my blog, every post I make, I make with the best of intentions! In fact, I took down a post that I thought may have appeared to be threatening when I meant it to inform.

So, Thank you all for your support, things are going to go on much as it has before! Without worry and fuss over who might be reading. I'm not about readership, I'm about journaling!

Jennifer C. said...

Blogging is all about putting down thoughts, whether educational, confrontational, full of gossip or full of personal thoughts. You don't have to explain every feeling you have that you make public! No matter what is said, it's likely someone will not understand the context or the history behind a post and that's ok. We can all ask for clarification and question why something was written, but in the end, feelings people have aren't always p.c. and they aren't always fun and easy to read.

Life's journeys are not always joyful and not always full of sorrow. That's what makes life special. Going through the adoption process seems like a rollercoaster of emotions, not completely like but similar to having fertility issues. In the end, our faith helps guide us through and struggle through the ups and downs. Just because there are moments where we aren't perfect and where we may appear selfish because of something our heart wants so dearly, doesn't mean that we also don't have compassion for all of those involved and realize that there are multiple outcomes that could make only a portion of the people involved happy and fulfilled.

I think you have been honest in your blog while maintaining a sensitivity to others involved in the adoption process. Writing your thoughts and posing the questions to which other people on the journey to become a mother and have a family have possibly also wanted an answer, and asking God, through whom you gain your strength, for guidance is therapeutic for you and for others who identify with you.

Keep journaling, keep questioning, keep praying...

Maru and Fico said...

Great post!

I also blog for the purpose of journaling. I keep reminding myself that my blog is MY BLOG. Questions are welcomed but I would never allow the taint of hurtful comments invade my blog, my very own personal space. You have every right to chose the comments you publish on your blog. You're doing the right thing setting boundaries and moderating comments.

You know who your supporters are. We'll be with you every step of the way. You're so close!

God bless you,


Rachel said...

Whoo hoo! You go girl!! LOVE your comment about being justified by Jesus. Why can't we just REALIZE that and NOT let people get to us??

Can't wait to hear what happens...