Friday, January 22, 2010

The Fear of "what if"

J and I were walking with Chief yesterday, (thank you Lord for El Nino and the gorgeous weather!) I walked on a more "main road" that isn't configured the way most are, instead of sidewalks there are curbs that act as barriers from the "car area" and then a glorified bike lane with an open ditch on the other side. I should take a picture.
Anyway, as I walked an SUV came around a corner behind me tires squealing and sort of thumped over the little curb as it took the corner a little too sharply. Now, it really wasn't that close, but what if it had been? The little man, the dog and I would have been tossed into the open ditch, and at the very least, we would be really really gross and cold. The worst would have brought injury, loss of my dog, possibly my kiddo and I seriously had to pull myself back from the edge and remind myself that nothing had happened. NOTHING. In my head I was ready to never walk that way again, to always use the "safer" back roads. My rational and faithful mind kicked those thoughts aside and I came home to find that my pastor had written a little something about fear. I was glad I wasn't the only one with fear on my mind.

I'm so thankful for the watch-care of my Savior and His crew of angels charged over me and my family.

Today I face another fear: leaving my baby with someone other than his daddy. I left him with my mom once to go to the store, but in my mind that really doesn't count as it was only 30 minutes and about 15 minutes into that, Jer came home.

Jer's Winter Party for his work is tonight, and I "have" to get dressed up and go, our dear and trusted friends "The Sisters" Christine and Cheryl will be watching the little man, and I'm so glad I have friends I trust! I know we'll have fun, and I am confident that "The Sisters" can handle my little guy. But still! O MY!



Kelli said...

Hi, Kelley :)
I just found your blog and was reading up on your last couple exciting!! Congrats on your little man! :) We are going to our Bethany infomational meeting on February 13th! yay!

Jamie said...

yes...i think of these things often. it's amazing how much your heart changes and it becomes it's mission to protect another. :) as milo has started walking and getting into more dangerous situations....i think about it way more too. roots and wings...the balance can drive a mama crazy! :)

Cheryl said...

He was a peach! I'm glad we were able to watch him- and I'm also thankful we're the kind of friends you can leave him with :)

Maru said...

Wow... Good thing you're ok...

I wish I could stay home all day with my baby. It's a blessing that we spend the first half of the day together with her. My mom takes care of her every afternoon while we go to work. My heart aches every time I leave her with my mom. I just wait for the day to end to go and pick her up. I miss her terribly.... She's 5 months old. People say "give it time". I don't think I'll ever get used to it...

Your baby is gorgeous!!!! :o)