Friday, December 12, 2008

Grief Cycle

It seems to get shorter. But it always has the same steps: Heartbreak, "maybe they won't get along", pout, blog, talk to Jer, pout together, acceptance. Some of these things happen at the same time, but they always happen; I often pout and blog at the same time.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being all knowing. Thank you for giving me another experience. Thank you for patients that put things into perspective for me. B.G. rocks, thank you for putting him in my chair today, his words were a blessing. Thank you for showing me how hard birthmom's have it when they're choosing people. I know the person I had to decline to show our profile was a taste of how hard it is to say "Not this one". It was an eye opener.

Lord, I pray for Art and his wife, I pray they don't have to wait much longer. I pray that you will put a special woman and child into their life, someone who needs them and the special gifts you've blessed them with. Comfort her as she struggles with the hurt of seeing other mothers with their sweet infants. I know that ache, and I know how painful it can be. I pray that you will continue to comfort me and Jer as we deal with rejection, but that we were not right for the babies in question. I put the future in your hands, and I thank you for the opportunity to get to know a fellow mother in waiting. I pray that we will become friends, and that we may find comfort in each other, and that we will be able to rejoice with each other soon. That we will really feel that all the waiting really was worth it and that all of the hills and valleys were placed in our paths for our benefit, for our faith and relationship with you to grow ever stronger. Let the peace that goes beyond the understanding of the reasons we weren't chosen fill our hearts and calm our souls. May every day we spend without children teach us a valuable lesson about every day we will live as mothers.

Jesus, your name is Power and Might, and I pray this in your name, Amen.


Annie said...

Thank you for that kind and wonderful prayer.

Kathleen said...

You are always in my prayers and hopefully, during the Christmas Season God will bless you with a child. Just keep having faith, he will never let you down.

Kelley said...

Kathleen, Thank you for your prayers, and you're right, He will never let me down. I know it!