I am an incredibly independent person. I am not the kind who asks for help unless the situation is dire. Asking for emotional support from people is even more difficult for me. I am much more comfortable BEING the help and providing the emotional support. My husband is good at getting me to talk and being there for me. I love the man for that, because seriously, how many men are like that??
Today a friend/patient came in to have my boss look at something in her mouth. She was worried about a bump on her jaw and had heard a horror story from someone about oral cancer…well, I took a peek and saw that it was just a thing called a "Tori" or a growth of bone that exceeds the average contour of the surrounding tissue. They usually grow due to trauma i.e. clenching of the teeth and are also hereditary. (boss came in and said "Yep it's a tori "and went off to look at someone else.) All that to say this : she's been through the Adoption game, she had an extremely heartbreaking foster to adopt situation fail, and she's been in my shoes. She took one look at me and knew I needed a hug. She asked what had happened and I detailed the situation for her. She didn't try to tell me how much harder "So and so" had it, or even how much harder her own situation had been, she just listened, hugged, cried with me a little and then said that "I must have really come in to see you today!" which made me smile for the first time all day long.
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for placing people into my life on a daily basis, people that are there to impart your wisdom to me through familiar faces and encouraging smiles. Thank you for N.S. and her family. Thank you for her willingness to talk to me and support me without my having to ask her for it. Help me to be vulnerable and ask people for help and support, even though it makes me uncomfortable. This is not the first time you've put a patient into the schedule that has had something to say that makes me see things in a different light.
I know that this situation didn't work out for a reason, and that reason may never be known to me, but I thank you for keeping me from damage worse than disappointment. You are all knowing and only you can guide this process properly. I have faith in you, and renewed calm.
Help me to talk to my mom about what I need from her during this difficult time. Help me to not lash out with sarcasm when she's only trying to help.
In your powerful name and authority I pray,