Friday, March 13, 2009

Question for all the waiting/adoptive parents...

How did your husbands wait? Did they talk/think about the baby everyday or were they more quiet about it? Did they have any struggles while they waited/or are did/do they think about their future child?

My sweetie is a little discouraged right now and I wondered if your husbands had any insight?

I know I process all of my adoption angst here, with you...he tells me, but I wondered if the "blog friends husbands" had any tricks or tips...aside from the obvious prayer...;)


Becky said...

Hi Kel,
I found your blog through Annie's. I'm an adoptive mom to two great kids! 9 and 4 so, it's been awhile since we walked the waiting road however, you never forget.
My husband didn't seem to have near the problem with the wait each time that I did. It bothered him more for me. He was very patient and quietly relied on his faith....he just wanted it to happen quickly for me! I think the hardest part on him was not the waiting...he knew it would happen...just not the when, it was watching me be so sad, upset, impatient, etc.

It's just not an easy wait on the adoption process, esp. if you've already spent time on an infertility journey...which we did for 7 years.
You have each other and you have your Lord...I don't know how peopel do it without Him!!
Praying for you as you wait! Blessings will come!!!

Melba said...

Unfortunately, no tips or tricks here. My hubby is very much an internal processor. I do know he thinks about it, b/c of things like the lottery ticket incident, and occasionally he will ask if there have been any placements lately, or things like that. I always share info with him the moment I get it, but esp. when it's been a while, he will bring it up. That's when I have to remember it's hard for him too, even though he may not be as verbal about waiting. He talks to me, but he's just more reserved and more laid back in how he thinks about this whole thing.

Sorry your hubby is feeling down right now, it is so hard! Unfortunately, short of staying as busy as you possibly can, I don't think there is much that can be done.


Kel said...

Hello Becky! Thank you for your answer, I agree, I have no idea how people without faith get through this time of waiting! I pray all the time for support and encouragement!

I think my husband falls into the same line of thinking as both yours and Melba's, he rarely mentions it, and this time he only did because I dug...perhaps it is just normal for guys to internalize this makes me feel better to know that we're "Normal" :D
Thanks for your comments Ladies, I appriciate you!

Charnè said...

hey there

my hubby does not really talk about the waiting, unless i bring it up or unless i force him to phone our social worker...

i know he desperatly wants our baby to arrive (we been on the list 9 months) but he does not think of it as much and as often as me

mail me if you like

Maru and Fico said...

Our wait has just started and I'm already a bit impatient. I trust God has a birthmom prepared for us and I just need to wait for His timing, but I must admit, it's not that easy for me. My husband is also sort of an "internal processor", so it's hard to tell now that we're waiting. Surprisingly enough, when we were at the very beginning of our journey - filling forms, having our home study,etc.- I was taking it easy, and he was all "we need to do this NOW" just because it would mean one day less waiting. And now that we're actually in "the wait", he's all calmed down and I am the anxious one. Ironic?