Jer and I are doing just fine, it seemed for a while that things had gotten thrown up in the air and were suddenly less certain than they had been in previous weeks. I sincerely believe that it was just a time when we had to look at our own faith and see where we need to work on strengthening our relationship with the Lord. Even though I was wigging out, I still felt in my heart that things were going to be fine, and I woke up with a song in my heart and then a similar one on the radio in the car on the way to work. The Gist? Peace Be Still and know that I am God, and I've got this.
Only after I heard that in my heart and believed it, did the information come. I don't do well without information. Beth Moore wrote in her "Esther" study that we feel most out of control when we are high on emotion and low on information. I think she was in my head when she wrote that.
I had a big old ugly cry last night. And Jer and I talked about our frustration. Jer mentioned as I left for work this morning that he felt like things would be better today. Becky called me while I was with a patient, and I called her back on my break, and I was reassured by everything she said. Praise God for a wonderful caseworker.
I am so thankful that this year I have someone to look forward to.
Of course this was all happening while I was dealing with what to do with my privacy settings. I am not going private, but I have decided that I'm not allowing comments by people who don't have a Blogger account. (This sucks because my pal Jen C doesn't have a blog here. But we're pals on Facebook. If anyone else would like to be facebook buddies, please leave a comment with your name, or email address and I'll friend you. I won't post your comment :D.)
I also worked up the gumption to post a response to that webzine owner who posted my blog on their site. I let them know that I am a kind person who would never dismiss their feelings toward their personal adoption experience, and that I hoped that they would find blessings from God and happiness. I also extended my prayers to "him" and to the people he has posted on "his" site.
While I will not accept or apply his opinion on my blog, I do believe he's entitled to it.