Today marks the 90th day of our wait to be chosen by a Birth Mother. A.A. gives out medals for such things. I'd consider waiting for this long with only minor emotional breakdowns an accomplishment!
While I like and fully believe in the concept of open adoption, it does have a disadvantage: rejection. While it isn't intended and isn't personal; we are passed over in favor of other families. It is a fact, and for an emotional person like myself. It is incredibly difficult to be passed over. The only thing that keeps me from depression is my faith that Jesus Christ has my back. He has designed a plan for our life and our family. I believe His design to be superior to my own. I just have to remind myself of it daily.
My prayers are with those who've waited longer than Jer and I; and with the birthmothers making difficult decisions tonight. May God give you comfort and wisdom in your decision making processes.
To the waiting, James 1:1-3 keeps me going; endurance and patience are traits we will be able to use when our children are finally with us and are having bad nights, out past curfew, and throwing tantrums in the mall while people snicker or whisper "why don't they do something?" and think we can't hear them.