Jer and I ended up staying home alone for Christmas this year, the insanity that was the "Solstice Storm" lasted awhile, and we didn't want to get stuck in Oregon unable to get back home! Jer sneaked a set of baby socks into my stocking, which was really sweet. I love it when he shows me just how much he wants to be a daddy.
So, Christmas Eve I roasted a turkey breast and made up some easy fixings. We had a nice quiet evening. In the morning, we had a little breakfast together and opened our gifts, Jer always does well in the giving, I never have to give him a list, he's just a great gift giver!
And then we went over to Beth and Nathan's for a few hours and played with the kids and their new toys. Gavin got a Kid-proof Digital Camera, and he's really good at it!
We then joined our friend's family for Christmas Dinner and had a really good dinner! Halibut, prime rib and mashed potatoes! Later we went to See "Benjamin Button". I have a review on my general blog. Long. That's a summary.
I think children make the Holiday though. I had a great time with Carley and Gavin, they make not having a child of our own bearable, I don't know what we're going to do without them! New York is just SO Far away! But, seeing them so happy made me really happy too. We watched them tonight while their parents went out to dinner, and that was totally awesome.
I think the fact that our friends are so generous with their children is a great help, they let us play with the kids without hovering, they trust us with them, and let us love them. We don't love them as our own, (even though we hope our future kids are as sweet as they are)but as special kids in our lives.
I made a conscious effort after our "Diagnosis" to continue enjoying babies, and children and the company of other women who are mothers and/or pregnant; I have always loved them and I saw the pain it could bring, but I also saw how much I needed to keep that part of myself intact. There were moments when it was hard, but now I find that it is healing for me to be around them. When I have a sad day, I try to go see Beth and the kids; because for me, they are like little band-aids on the hurts of my heart. Carley's sweet smile and sparkling eyes are good medicine, and hearing Gavin's little voice say "I love you, Kelley" well, it melts my heart in a good way!
I know for others, the proximity to children can be unbearable, and the sight of an infant can be like an ice-cold knife slicing through your heart. Especially when it seems like the mother is acting superior or haughty. And if they are going to flaunt their baby like that, they could at least ask if you'd like to hold him/her!
I wish all of you who are waiting and expecting or just following this journal a belated Merry Christmas and a very Prosperous New Year. May the Lord see fit to bless you with your dreams and give you special fortitude while you wait.
I pray for the hearts that need changing, I pray for the Lord's will to be done. Help us accept that will as it becomes evident to us. Thank you for hope, and faith.