Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Can You Understand Where I'm Coming From?

I heard the saddest story today. My heart is still breaking into a million pieces and I’ve not quite grasped what it all could mean.

There is a little 2 month old girl, whose mother is in such bad times economically that she is relinquishing her for adoption. The birthfather has never been involved, and won’t be an issue due to the laws in the stat where they live.

Tomorrow she will be looking for parents for this little girl, who loves to be held, and seems to be very healthy.

We are in the list of profiles she’ll be looking at, and my heart is breaking because she is in this situation. I know that any mother who chooses us would be losing their little one, but to have the courage to parent for two months and then know in your heart that there is more for that child than you can provide…it makes my insides want to burn through my skin. She is so brave. What if she does choose us? I know that she would need us to do it, that we would be doing something equally good for her as she is for us, but still, ouch. How can I take this little girl from her mother’s arms? Why is it different? Is it the true tragedy of the situation? God is pressing her into my heart, this mother. I love her. I do and don’t want to be the one to adopt her child. I do because I know she can trust me to be a good mother and honor her sacrifice. I don’t because I really don’t want her to be in this situation. I want her to be ok. I wish we could adopt them both.

6 comments:

Melba said...

Wow...definitely a heart wrenching situation! I will be keeping all of you in my prayers!

During our adoptive parenting classes, we had a family who came in that adopted their daughter when she was three months old. The birth grandmother was also there, and it was quite a story!

I really can't imagine being in her shoes, not one little bit.

Hugs,

Melba

Jamie said...

kel ~ wow......what a brave and selfless women. you know.....it's so commendable for her to make this decision after caring for her baby for 2 months. she is making this decision from experience and from the knowledge of what it takes to meet the demanding needs of a baby. she obviously believes that this baby should be with a family who could better meet these needs due to where she is in her life right now and what her capabilities are as a mother right now. what better family to do this than you and jeremy? she NEEDS a family like you right now......she needs you to be as brave as she is being. no matter what age your child comes to you.....when the moment comes for the birthmother to say "good bye" is heartwrenching and difficult beyond expectation. this situation is no different......
you may be exactly what this woman is looking for for her child that she loves enough to know what she is and is not capable of providing.
keep your heart open..... :) good luck!!

Kel said...

I DO want this baby, I do want to be encouraging to her, it's just the situation that makes my heart break, I'm so ready to be a mom that I can't stand myself. It just breaks my heart that she's in such a bad possition. I don't want anyone to be in a situation like that.

I am going to be courageous for her, it's my job. I will if called upon rise to the occasion and I'm hoping you're right Jamie, What better family! :D We are the family! I'll be updating

Thank you Melba and Jamie for being a rock I can count on for good advice.

I love you both and can't wait to be sharing mom stories with you!
Kel

sarah m said...

Wow...that is so sad. I can only imagine the emotions involved with this. Praying for guidance for you both. :)

Rebekah said...

For three weeks after Ty was born, I only saw Rebekah's sadness...It broke her heart to give him to me...even though she knew it was best.

Prepare yourself now. No matter who the mother is, it will be the most difficult thing you've ever had to do.

Melba said...

I just re-read this and am realizing how truly momentous it is. This birth mom is thinking only of her sweet baby, and she is one courageous woman for being able to put her child first during what must be a very low point for her.

I understand where you are with how hard it is for you to see anyone in this dire of a situation, let alone someone you will undoubtedly come to care about, should this be "the one" for you. BUT...if you are called to parent this little girl, then it will all happen as it should, and you will have the courage and strength you will need to see the situation through.

WOW, you will all definitely be in my thoughts and prayers as the next few days unfold!!

Hugs,

Melba