It's a decision on perspective and my need to change mine.
From now on, there will be no more what if this is the one. It's going to be "God wants me to pray for this situation, for these people and for their baby."
I will pray all the time for my baby to come into our lives, but when I hear about situations, it seems they need prayer, my prayer, your prayer and other people who pray for me on a regular basis. I'm going to go with the idea that the situations that I know about are not for me, but situations where the mother and father need some extra prayer support.
Let's just take my last two "known viewings" for example: C. was in a very difficult situation where the father of her child did not approve of an adoption plan. She chose us anyway. She needed something from me, and she and everyone else thought that was for us to be her parents. But instead, she really needed my fervent prayer for her benifit. For her to be a good mother if it was God's plan for her.
More recently B. Had not been to the Dr. AT ALL in her pregnancy, and I'm sure that caused her some anxiety. So, my prayer for a healthy baby and for her health were probably what she needed.
So, this is how I am going to take the situations I get called about. If one of them should work out to be "My" situation, AWESOME! But from now on, this is my possition, on my knees for this family. Not for me. I can pray for us anytime.
Am I crazy? Seriously, the statistics seem to add up. Every situation I've known about has had some sort of special prayer need. I'm sure they all will. But perhaps I'm being too selfish; and if not selfish; selfcentered.
What do you think? Crazy? Or am I on the right track?
Thank you for your trust in me as a woman of prayer. I accept this job, I will continue to pray with proper perspective.