Here's to the Full Moon!

Tonight's full moon will be the brightest of the year. Here's hoping it's good luck and induces many a waiting family's dreams.

My Diaper Bag

Any one who knows me well, knows that I could care less about designer labels. I like things that FIT, WORK, and DON'T Break.

I scoffed at the pictures of stars carrying around a 168.00 diaper bag. I said, "Oh please, why would anyone spend that kind of money on a bag to carry diapers in. Then a friend of mine at bible study walked up the three flights of stairs with the infant seat and her hand on the rail, and her bag firmly on her back and not sliding off and causing a minor catastrophe. Now, I know many people who carry purses and big bags around like it's no big deal, with ease and grace the thing just floats on as though an angel is holding it on the shoulder with no cares in the world. I am NOT one of those women. My purses slip off,I have to hold them on or uncomfortably hitch my shoulder and add an infant seat? PUH LEEZ can we say wreck waiting to happen? And then Petunia Pickle Bottom Entered my life. Thank you Petunia for your versatile bag configuration, not to mention the built in changing station that makes any old counter a comfy place to change my little monkey!

Seriously, it hold's J's stuff AND mine in an organized and non "whinnie the pooh" fashion.

The Fear of "what if"

J and I were walking with Chief yesterday, (thank you Lord for El Nino and the gorgeous weather!) I walked on a more "main road" that isn't configured the way most are, instead of sidewalks there are curbs that act as barriers from the "car area" and then a glorified bike lane with an open ditch on the other side. I should take a picture.
Anyway, as I walked an SUV came around a corner behind me tires squealing and sort of thumped over the little curb as it took the corner a little too sharply. Now, it really wasn't that close, but what if it had been? The little man, the dog and I would have been tossed into the open ditch, and at the very least, we would be really really gross and cold. The worst would have brought injury, loss of my dog, possibly my kiddo and I seriously had to pull myself back from the edge and remind myself that nothing had happened. NOTHING. In my head I was ready to never walk that way again, to always use the "safer" back roads. My rational and faithful mind kicked those thoughts aside and I came home to find that my pastor had written a little something about fear. I was glad I wasn't the only one with fear on my mind.

I'm so thankful for the watch-care of my Savior and His crew of angels charged over me and my family.

Today I face another fear: leaving my baby with someone other than his daddy. I left him with my mom once to go to the store, but in my mind that really doesn't count as it was only 30 minutes and about 15 minutes into that, Jer came home.

Jer's Winter Party for his work is tonight, and I "have" to get dressed up and go, our dear and trusted friends "The Sisters" Christine and Cheryl will be watching the little man, and I'm so glad I have friends I trust! I know we'll have fun, and I am confident that "The Sisters" can handle my little guy. But still! O MY!

Five Hours!

I hope that happens again!!

First Post Placement Visit

Last Friday Becky came by for our first post placement visit. I don't know why an official visit feels different than when I drop by to say hi. I know there are no fears of J.C. leaving us. I suppose it is left-over angst.

Becky had a state form she filled out as she asked us the questions on it. I showed her pictures of the holidays with the family and how happy everyone was to welcome the little man into our family. It was really very low key. And I'm always happy to see Becky! But the formality of the situation must be respected, at least in my mind, so that is probably where the nerves kick in, that and I forgot to dust my mantle! :D

Our next visit is in February and I think our state only requires two visits, maybe a third, Becky left a packet that should tell me, but essentially the next step is contacting a lawyer and getting a hearing on the books and having a party set up!

Becky did ask us if we would adopt again, and I do think it is in our future, I'm kind of a "one thing at a time" kind of woman, I like to get the current situation fully under control before I look to the next thing. But J. will have sibling(s). That is what I know.

Tomorrow we have our official "Church Shower" thrown by our women's committee "Titus II". I'm really looking forward to it, so many of these women prayed for us on a daily basis and really kept us in their hearts during our waiting time. It will be really special to have some time to thank them individually. It seems like there is never enough time before or after church.

This is just...AWESOME!

I am not a morning person. I don't do well on minuscule amounts of sleep. But you know what? I don't care! I'm having the best time waking up to feed my frantic son. The only time he flips out is when he wakes up hungry. We sleep from midnight to four am in the recliner and then we eat, and migrate to the bedroom with Jer. For some reason this works. In two months we'll work on getting him into his crib, but for now, he sleeps, I sleep and daddy (who has to work) sleeps!

This little man is just, so!! I am loving every moment I spend with him. My whole life I've been waiting to do this, and now that it's here, I am not disappointed. I am blown away by the absolute joy of it all.

When we first brought J. home, someone asked me if it was surreal. I have to say that it isn't. It is SO REAL! I practice yoga, which trains you to be in the moment, and I've never found it more valuable than this time with J. I spend a very little time planning things out for the future, I do it, it gets done, I have plans. But I spend more time taking in every little experience I have with this amazing little boy. He loves kisses, he does the whole open mouth thing and smiles when I give him big smooches and say "MWAH!" I swear he has a sense of humor already!

And he's a month old!!!